Guide
Drinking more since the break-up? Signs to watch and what to do
It usually starts small – a couple of beers to take the edge off, a bottle of wine to get to sleep. Then it's most nights. That's one of the most common ways men cope with a break-up or betrayal, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. But it's worth being honest with yourself about where it's heading.
Signs it's becoming a problem
- You're drinking most nights, not just now and then.
- You need more than you used to for the same effect.
- You're drinking to get to sleep, or to stop thinking about it.
- Hangovers are making the next day – work, the kids, your mood – noticeably worse.
- You're playing it down, hiding it, or getting defensive when it comes up.
- You feel shaky, sweaty or anxious in the morning until you've had a drink.
What the NHS guideline actually is
The NHS advises men and women not to drink more than 14 units a week on a regular basis, to spread it over three or more days if you do drink that much, and to have several drink-free days each week. Fourteen units is roughly six pints of average-strength beer, or six medium glasses of wine – across the whole week, not in a night.
What helps
- Count it honestly for a week. Most people are surprised. You can't change what you're guessing at.
- Pick your drink-free days in advance and plan something for those evenings – the gym, a mate, a film. Empty evenings are where the drinking happens.
- Notice what sets you off. A Sunday night, a text from them, seeing photos online. Once you can see the pattern, you can plan around it.
- Don't keep it in the house, or keep less. If getting a drink takes effort, you'll have fewer.
- Swap the first one for an alcohol-free beer or something else. The first drink is often the habit; the rest follow it.
- Tell one mate you're cutting back. It's easier to stick to with someone in your corner.
Important: don't stop suddenly if you drink heavily every day
If you've been drinking heavily every day and get symptoms like shaking, sweating or anxiety when you go without, stopping suddenly can be dangerous. Speak to your GP first – they can help you cut down safely. If someone has seizures or becomes confused after stopping, call 999.
Worried about your drinking? Drinkline is free and confidential on 0300 123 1110 (weekdays 9am–8pm, weekends 11am–4pm), or talk to your GP. If things feel too much, call Samaritans on 116 123 any time.
Reading helps for a minute. Seeing your own pattern helps for good.
Pit Stop 30 is a 30-second daily check-in for men: mood on a dial, sleep, drinks, one hard thing and one good thing. Over a few weeks it shows you what's really going on – which nights cost you the next day, what sets you off, and that you're moving forward. It comes with 16 short reads like this one, matched to what you're going through. Everything stays on your phone. No ads, ever.
Know a mate going through it? Send him this.
Sources and further help:
This guide is general information, not medical advice. Pit Stop 30 is a self-help app, not a medical service. If you're struggling, talk to your GP. In immediate danger, call 999.